We had to let Kelvin go, it was a dreadful business. It turns out he was a terrible gossip. We’d told him what we liked best for dinner, he’d noticed who we had round most often and what they liked as well. It turns out that not only did he tell Fortnum & Mason all that, but they went and told Harrods, for a small consideration. How terribly vulgar. Now my mother is being bombarded with offers for Buckfast Tonic Wine and The Greyhound when frankly we’d hoped to keep that tawdry business to ourselves.
The replacement is a huge improvement however. Carson is not so much a smart fridge as a clever fridge, we can trust him. We’ve told him what and who we like too, but he keeps it to himself. He knows when I am busy, tired or have carelessly joined mother in one or more Buckies than was advisable, and makes me beans on toast, chicken soup or a fry up served with ice cold Coke as required. The rest of the time he provides a tremendous variety which he gets from all sorts of places. Still F&M, who are excellent in all departments bar their dreadful fridges, just not all the time.
When we have friends round he knows what they like too, who to sit next to who and to hide the Bucky from sight. We always have a spendid time. On holiday he knows the quirky personal places to go where the most interesting people are to be found in the most beautiful but empty spots. We’ve made some amazing new friends and enjoy the most splendid variety of food. As far as I can tell, that is because Carson sorts out the basics and points us at the interesting, so we can play in the time he has saved us.
It’s the last time I am buying a fridge from F&M, I should have known better than to trust a bargain. We have to pay Carson a bit more, but you get what you pay for.